We’ve all heard it a thousand times: “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Push harder. Want it more. Force your way to the top through sheer determination and willpower alone.
And sure, this energy can achieve impressive results. The world is full of people who’ve white-knuckled their way to success through pure grit and determination.
But here’s what nobody talks about: that same willpower that gets you results can also become the prison that keeps you exhausted, stressed, and secretly wondering why success feels so damn hard.
If you’ve ever found yourself forcing strategies that don’t feel natural, micromanaging every detail of your business, or holding onto offers that clearly aren’t working anymore, then your control issues might be costing you more than you realize.
The Heart Center: Where Self-Worth Resides
In Human Design, the Heart Center is where all of this plays out. It’s your willpower headquarters – the energy center that governs your ego, your drive for material success, your competitive spirit, and your sense of value in the world.
This motor center has incredible power to propel your business forward. It’s where your self-confidence lives, where your pride in your work originates, and where your relationship with success gets defined.
But it’s also where your inner control freak can take up permanent residence.
The world has taught us that business success means climbing to the top, winning against the competition, being admired by many, and making a pile of cash along the way.
It’s a very masculine, ego-driven force that sounds inspiring in theory but can become absolutely exhausting in practice.
When Willpower Becomes a Weapon Against Yourself
Here’s the thing about operating from pure willpower: it turns business into a constant battle that you have to win through force.
You adopt widely-held success blueprints and chase common goals without realizing they might be completely against the flow of your natural genius. This leads to needing to force everything in your business – a “grabbing” type of energy that believes sheer will is the only thing that can create success.
And this gives rise to control issues that show up everywhere:
In your offers: You hold onto products or services that aren’t working, even in the face of declining sales and disappointed clients, because letting go feels like admitting failure.
With your team: You refuse to hand over full autonomy because you’re convinced nobody can do it as well as you can, leaving your team feeling disempowered and yourself feeling overworked.
In your marketing: You withhold value in your free content, thinking people should pay for the good stuff, but then wonder why your audience isn’t converting into loyal clients.
With expert advice: You overrule the recommendations and strategies you’ve paid for, compromising your results because you can’t let go of needing to be in control of every decision.
In client relationships: You don’t empower your clients to succeed independently because you’re afraid they won’t get results, which teaches them to lean on you way too much and sets you up for the exhaustion of constant overdelivery.
The Real Cost of Control Mode
When you’re in peak control mode, you’re operating from a place where money equals power, and that power must be protected at all costs. You resist changing market forces, overlook strategic opportunities, and try to force success or hold onto it no matter what.
This isn’t just stressful – it’s expensive.
Control mode costs you creative opportunities that arise from your instincts and aligned intentions. It costs you the magic that happens when you trust your natural genius instead of forcing outcomes. It costs you energy, joy, and the kind of sustainable success that actually feels good.
Most importantly, it costs you the ability to see that there might be an easier way.
The Gates of Control: Where Your Patterns Live
In the Heart Center, there are four key Gates that reveal exactly how control shows up in your business:
Gate 26 (The Stress): When you’re constantly under pressure, believing that stress is just part of being successful, and you can’t see a way to create results without burning out.
Gate 40 (The Exhaustion): When you’re running on empty but can’t stop pushing because stopping feels like giving up, and you’ve confused being busy with being productive.
Gate 51 (The Competition): When you’re so focused on what everyone else is doing that you lose connection to your own unique value and start copying strategies that don’t fit your design.
Gate 21 (The Control): When you need to be in charge of every detail and can’t delegate or trust others, because letting go feels like losing power.
Even if you don’t have any Heart Gates activated in your chart, you’re still subject to these influences. The pressure to control, compete, and force success affects everyone in business.
Energy vs. Force: The Game-Changing Distinction
Here’s the key insight that changes everything: there’s a massive difference between energy and force.
When your actions align with your natural genius, the energy you need is supplied from within. Business feels flowing, results come more easily, and success energizes you instead of depleting you.
When your actions don’t flow from your natural genius, your energy gets depleted. Business becomes harder, results take more work, and you’re stressed and exhausted trying to make money.
The difference isn’t in how hard you work – it’s in how aligned you are with your authentic design.
The Transformation: From Control to Authority
Recognizing your control patterns isn’t about becoming passive or giving up your drive for success. It’s about transforming control into something much more powerful: authentic authority.
When you release the death grip of control, you open yourself to the positive gifts of the Heart Center:
- Authority that comes from inner confidence rather than external validation
- Community built on genuine value rather than competition
- Synergy that multiplies your impact without multiplying your effort
- Resolve that’s sustainable rather than forceful
- Accomplishment that feels fulfilling rather than empty
- Freedom to succeed in a way that actually fits who you are
Your Control Detox Starts Now
Ready to stop letting control issues run your business into the ground? Start here:
Notice your patterns. Where are you forcing instead of flowing? Where are you holding on too tightly? Where are you trying to control outcomes instead of trusting the process?
Question your intentions. Is your drive for success coming from authentic desire or from fear of not being enough? Are you pushing because it feels right or because you think you should?
Experiment with letting go. What would happen if you delegated that project? What if you trusted your team’s expertise? What if you stopped micromanaging every detail and focused on your zone of genius instead?
Remember: you can still be powerful without being controlling. You can still be successful without forcing every outcome. You can still achieve your goals without sacrificing your sanity, health and wellbeing.
The most successful entrepreneurs aren’t the ones who control everything – they’re the ones who know what to control and what to trust. They’ve learned the difference between force and flow, between willpower and wisdom, between ego and authentic authority.
Your Heart Center has incredible power to create success. The question is: will you use that power to force your way forward, or will you use it to step into the kind of authentic authority that makes success feel inevitable?
The choice is yours. But your energy, your sanity, and your sustainable success depend on getting this right.
What control patterns are you ready to release? And what kind of authority are you ready to step into instead? Listen in to this episode to hear more:
Want to know what Gates are defined in your Heart Center? Grab your free Inner Influence Guide and uncover the definition of your influence. Click here to grab your free copy.
Connect with Victoria:
- Website: victoriagibson.com
- Instagram: @iamvictoriagibson
- Get your free Human Design Report: victoriagibson.com
- Click for your free Inner Influence Guide
Next Steps:
Ready to discover your natural genius?
Watch Victoria’s free SOULution class to learn how to move from Gold Stars to Genius and build the Human Design-Powered Business that’s been waiting inside you all along.
Love this episode? Subscribe to Human Design-Powered Business and leave a review to help other entrepreneurs discover their natural genius
Comments +